Echt

Changes

2012-02-10T09:36:00.002+08:00

There's been a lot of changes happening in my life since the latter part of 2011. Change is constant but not easy all the time.
I changed my current location for a number of reasons, but mainly to be with my long time partner. From our previous status of Long Distance Relationship to a much more formal,more mature, and more committed status... Engaged. It's a major change for both of us. Before I came here, he was not so keen in sharing his privacy. On the contrary, I like being with a lot of people, and letting others help me with chores. Presently, there's just the two of us, R and K, adjusting and discovering a lot of things with each other. We argue, cry, and laugh at our differences but our values are the same, which makes us stronger as an individual and as a team. I love him more than ever.

Like a pebble thrown on a lake, it caused a ripple. I had to resign from the hospital where I used to work, relocate and find a job suitable for me. Luckily, I got accepted on my first interview and worked just after 2 weeks of settling down. I am fortunate enough to be accepted right away even without an Australian certificate for that kind of job nor experience whatsoever. I am not yet registered to do my profession from my homecountry. I am still working on it, and hoping that everything will fit just as God would want it to be. I am praying that God will give us more strength, more patience, and more wisdom in doing everything what we have to do.

By next month, I will start writing my name long. Status will be changed as our families would stand with us to witness our union. FB status won't be changed yet until the latter part of the year. I'm excited. I'm nervous. I'm hopeful that God would bless our union all the time.

On my view regarding life, it definitely changed. I'm having a hard time accepting that an individual with a very healthy lifestyle could be susceptible to a disease that I just studied in books. Why did this happen to a very good person? A person who not only inspires a lot of people, but also helps in a lot of ways than imagined. Sometimes, I think life is so unfair for not doing this to bad people instead. But at the end of the day, I myself would have to admit that those people who hardens the life of other people are still needed to make a necessary change to the individuals who are affected by it. We all have a purpose in life, and it's true that in this life, we're just here temporarily. I still hate though that the person we all love would have to undergo it at such an early stage in life.

Anyway, heads up and cheer up! We all have our own fate. I still need to cringe some more for other changes but still praying and hoping that I may be able to adjust well to it. Enjoy and C'est la vie! :D

LITERA2 Quiz

2011-07-03T11:38:00.002+08:00

I was trying to find an emblem of my alma mater to be used in my scrapbook when i got my hands on this small booklet. It was my LITERA2 quiz booklet. I remember how much I enjoyed this subject because my creativity emerged and I do not feel pressured at all. In this booklet I wrote my quiz, which as I recall was to create a story with some fixed character. Here is what I wrote:

The Story of Magulaman's Tragedy

When we were little, Masago was usually the popular one. Mother said the mole in her left eye made her more beautiful than I am. People would notice her for her talent, beauty, and skill. I look like her, but I do not have a mole like her.

When we were 18, I met Takejiro. He was older than I am but he treats me as an equal. We hang out together and shared secrets which I wasn't able to do with Masago.

One fine day, Takejiro went to our house and found out that I have a twin sister. While I was out, Masago entertained him. Doing her charmed spells, Takejiro fell for her. They were married when we got 19 and decided to live in another place.

The night before they left, I tied Masago in our favorite 'secret' hiding place. I put a mole in the corner of my left eye and wore the lilac shirt just like Masago. I was thrilled of my little evil plan. Finally, I will be able to be with Takejiro in a place where there's no Masago.

Nobody noticed the change. Mother taught that Magulaman, I, was away in my own adventure. She didn't care about me anyway.

While we were off to Yamashina stage road to rest for a while, a man wearing a grayish-blue silk kimono approached us and introduced himself as Tajomaru. He was well-built and was taller than Takejiro. I noticed that he kept on looking at me, at first on my face, but later on, on my chest.

I was frightened, and I let myself under Takejiro's arms. I was comforted. I ignored the man and just relaxed, thinking that tomorrow would be a new beginning for me and Takejiro. I'm going to be his lovely wife, as she thought with a smile on her face.

But suddenly, Takejiro sat upright. I awoke with a start, and realized that Tajomaru had something behind Takejiro's back. I was confused and restless. I started pleading. With a grim face, he told me that it was I that he like.

I stalled and bargained on him. I told him that if he would let go of my husband, I will go with him. He thought it was a good idea. And so he tied first Takejiro and started walking towards me. I had a knife beside me and used it to threaten him, to kill Tajomaru if necessary. He kept on chasing me, rounding the grove till I got back to the bamboo and cedars where Takejiro was.

He was standing in front of Takejiro, insulting me. Telling me that he's gonna cut my husband's thing, before he would rape me. My blood rose to my head, and lunged on him with the knife on my hand. But the man was quick enough to duck on the bushes.

The knife landed on Takejiro's chest. I killed him. I killed the one who truly appreciates me. I killed my husband. I killed Masago's husband. I killed myself. (violent sob in the end)

------I got the highest score of 4 for this quiz... with my professor's comment "dramatic =) ". It was refreshing to find a piece like that hehe.

In the Woods of Forbes

2010-11-27T21:12:00.002+08:00

Almost one year ago we transferred to a rented unit, 36 square meters big, at the 2nd floor of tower 6. It was during my birthday that we were able to view the place and decided to get it from the broker. I've been with 5 beautiful ladies as housemates, and each one has their own reason for wanting to rent the place, mostly because we all live far from our present workplace. A is the big sister to all of us, but she's also one big contributor to why we were able to rent the place. It was her bank account that we used to pay the unit. She's the bubbly friend we all want, a girlfriend material, but sadly keeps on meeting the wrong guy who gives her heartache. Hopefully the present one won't break her heart. K, that's me, is the second one chronologically speaking. I'm just a simple girl with simple needs. Kt is our most pure hearted housemate. She's so in love with Jesus, and she guides me spiritually. C is our model housemate. If she really likes something or someone, she'll go gaga over it. I just hope she finds happiness with the one she likes. T is our babaeng bakla housemate. She's got a lot of stories to tell and you can't help but just laugh out loud with it. Lastly, the princess N. What she likes, she'll definitely get.

It was a slow start at first, as we adjust to our financial commitment. There were times that we want to just give up the place especially when some of us were transferred to QC and we have no other choice but to pay more to compensate for it. Until we agreed on paying the same thing until we finish the contract whether or not we're staying there.

Lots of memories were created there. More happy moments, thank God! That's why it's giving us a hard time to move out completely. Aside from that, there's just me, C, and N who's willing to rent still. We only have 2 more days to completely vacate the unit.. and we still don't have a place to stay. We're still hoping for the best. Wherever it is, I'm sure God will approve of it. ^__^

Something to smile about

2010-07-13T22:46:00.002+08:00

Here's a short list of what makes me smile and laugh:

1. Going home at our Ancestral home in Tondo
2. Eating together in our small dining area, even if it means others would have to stand
3. Listening to Mom, Ate Mi, and cousins' funny experiences during the week
4. Chatting with Ham and talking bout our dreams and funny stories
5. Going out with friends especially when I rarely see them
6. Finding a stash of money hidden in a pocket, bag, or envelopes in my cabinet, especially at times when my ATM's completely depleted
7. Brisked walking in the morning just so I wouldn't be late for work
8. My Time in is just 2-4 minutes before my scheduled time
9. When I see someone not wearing socks on their sneakers while working out
10. When the train would arrive just after i got in at the station
11. When in a rush hour and I still get to sit inside the train
12. When I feel that I completely evacuated my bowels ^____^
13. After a very rigorous work out
14. When I feel the warm sunlight in the morning
15. When I feel warm even on cold airconditioned room
16. When someone's telling jokes even if it's corny
17. If I accomplish something worthwhile during my day
18. Meeting and talking to new people
19. When I see nice art and photography
20. Whenever I hear a heartwarming sharing about God's Word

Running for fun

2010-07-13T22:07:00.003+08:00

People these days are fascinated with running, including me. You would see hordes of men and women in their singlets and running shoes, running around the vicinity of Global City. They are the ones who are concerned to get fit and be healthy. Curious at first but eventually became a habitual participant of any fun run or marathon. Running as an exercise, thus became a trend.

I started joining this when I met my Sensei at my former alma mater. He invited me to become a part of One La Salle Fun Run. It was a running event organized to raised funds for charity. I chose 5k for my category. I invited my friend Melai and she invited her brother as well. I brought my Mom along, but she didn't join us hehe. It was a great 1st time experience, having to push myself to finish the race even if I really want to give up.

My next run was in Philstar. Ai invited me for this event. I was registered for a 5k but i chose the 10k route instead, just so I could be in the same route with that of Ai and T. It was a great feeling having run the entire course even without proper training and even with slow record. I was glad still that I finished it and I contented myself with freebies and picture taking with my friends.

My recent run was in MOA. It's a run mostly for call center agents. Ai invited me here as well. It was my first run at night. My 1st time also to be registered for 10k. I came from night shift then, slept for 3 hours then went to Makati Med to visit my friend's dad who was admitted the day before that. I was kinda hesitant if I'll be able to finish it, given my lack of sleep and lack of preparation. But I did, thank God! It was not easy for me. At first I was at the front of the starting line, after a kilometer or so, I was falling back and behind all those who were running. Slowly, but yes I finished it at 1:20.

I'm looking forward to joining fun run, or serious marathon in the near future.

Personally, running has made me more dedicated to what I'm doing and in disciplining myself.

So I'm starting to prepare myself for upcoming events, and I do hope I'll be fit when that time comes. ^__^

Death of the Endless Family

2010-07-06T16:55:00.002+08:00

A different depiction of Death of the Endless Family.
It was digitally drawn by Jerome Jagovia, an artist for SLMC-GC (DCA).

Just in time for my present state... Dying. Emotionally...

For Once

2009-02-03T20:08:00.002+08:00

For once, I want to be the girl
who's being pursued,
not the one who's pursuing.
To be truly loved
not because I'm the only option
but because I truly matter.

2009-02-03T13:17:00.002+08:00

The start of the year was sad for me. H went back to OZ a day before my Lolo passed away. I've been with my family most of the time during those days, sharing our loss and renewing our bond with each other. However, I wasn't able to manage my time well. One very important person felt neglected during those times.

Am I sorry? Yes, for not being a supergirl who can be there in times of need.

I feel trapped in a haze of uncertainty. Unsure of what the future would bring. Afraid of what the present has to offer. There'll be change. That I'm sure of.

I am tired of always adjusting. I am tired of not asserting myself. I am tired of always being the one to say sorry. I am tired of not speaking out my thoughts.

But I love him so much.......that, I'm not tired of.

Space mode

2009-01-29T17:46:00.003+08:00

Aaargh. I'm now experiencing the "space" Mode again... and as usual.. the recipient role again. I'm just not used to this. I hope H will feel much better soon. Aaargh. hard hard hard.

SMS

2008-11-12T18:13:00.003+08:00

Last Monday, my peaceful and somehow boring life rattled when I received a text message asking me to confirm an Initial Interview at SLMC for Wednesday. I must admit, that was sudden. I completely lost hope about that slot when I did not pass the IQ exam, nakakahiya talaga. I was thinking, maybe my IQ was still rusty from lack of use,hehe.

Since Board Exam last June 1 and 2, I had only focused on BLS at Red Cross, IV therapy training at Muntinlupa, and IELTS exam. All of that resulted to a pleasant outcome, except for the IELTS which I had to repeat since I didnt get the full mark needed. Application to SLMC was something I did for the sake of "applying for the job". I passed my CV thru email, and I was lucky to get a reply that afternoon. The exam was scheduled last September. It was a 57 item IQ exam (i think), which we had to finish in 15 minutes. I thought it was just the usual picture test, but it wasn't. It's more complicated than that. We had to wait for the result, and as expected, I didn't pass. I forgot the whole embarassing incident and moved on with my life, until last Monday.

I had to reread the text, thinking that my eyes fooled me, but it was really there stated clearly. Initial Interview, 11.12.08. I don't know how to prepare for it, so I did nothing. I was there 45 minutes before my scheduled time. I even saw, people rallying in front of the SLMC, maybe related to the controversial Bolante. Upstairs, I began to think that maybe the text wasn't meant for me, since my name wasn't listed at the Log. Still I waited, and embraced myself for what was to come.

The awaited time arrived. There were 4 of us that will be interviewed at the same time. That was the first time I had to sit for an interview with my fellow applicants, and a first for the role as RN. I did try my best. Whatever the result will be, I'm going to accept it. I feel already blessed to have that kind of opportunity.

2008-10-01T21:21:00.002+08:00

today, i learned that a girl:
should prioritize goals.
should understand boys.
should be complete by herself.
should envision a successful career- be a successful career woman.
no time for other thoughts, should only focus on what's important.
patience is needed. patience, patience, and more patience.

Papa's past time

2008-09-13T12:47:00.004+08:00

Last night, I was asked by Papa (lolo) to pick him up from his friend's house, Mang Epoy, the butcher. Apparently, they are still in the market and still selling meat. He dropped by at his place for some drinking session. Initially, I was hesitant to leave the house because that was the time where I just want to be with myself and not socialize with other people. However, I know I missed being with Papa, and I know that he misses it too, and so I obeyed.

Now that Papa is old, he has grown to be more sensitive, more weak, more persistent, and more lonely. He's kinda bored and would really want to be with people most of the time. Our house is almost empty when he gets home. Everybody would either be in their room doing something, studying, sleeping, watching or still at work. I can feel his loneliness. The kids have grown up plus Alj, his fave apo is now in Antipolo.

To fill in that kind of void inside him, he likes to drink with his beer buddies. I really don't like that past time, since it's really not healthy for him. With drinking, he could be with other people, talk to them, observe them, and just be with them. And so, if that would only be the way to somehow cheer him up, then I'll just contain my tongue from giving him some health teaching and just be with him as his apo (granddaughter).

August update

2008-08-22T02:09:00.002+08:00

Here's some update of my life

1. I already pledged before God and before men that I will be ethical and professional as a Nurse. We all pledged in front of the Board of Nursing, and I might say that I took it quite solemnly. I just hope that I'll be able to practice it to the best of my ability. Funny thing was... after Mom browsed on the souvenir program and was returning it to me.. she muttered, "Oh ayan, isa ka na sa walang trabaho"). It hurts, but that's the truth. I now officially belong to those who are unemployed.

2. My friends and I went back to Our Lady of Manaog in Pangasinan to give our thanks. We went there on Saturday morning. We arrived at around 3pm and just had late lunch, touched Our Lady just before the Mass started. We headed off to Baguio by taking the last trip of a public van just beside the Church. The trip going to Baguio only took 2 hours from the Church. We had our light dinner at Nevada Square, a place where u can find loud music, bands, liquors, cigarettes, boys, girls, and sisig! We celebrated there our new profession in a form of liquor and just loosening up. My girlfriends and I aren't used to alcohol in our blood, so it really affected our orientation right away. At first we were just drinking a pitcher of Boracay Sling which tastes like Bailey's, but seniors ordered 1L of Jose Cuervo Tequila. Anyway it kinda went wild, and we danced on our spot and I body shot my girlfriends. I was kinda embarassed with my behaviour in the morning, especially when I saw the video.

3. August is a special month for my dear loved ones and friends: so Happy birthday to Mai (10), Peter (11), Ate Nena (18), and to Ninong (20)

4. I got back to Karate and sparring again. Tonight I had sparred with Aileen, my best bud in College. My fear got in me. She's taller, and have more power than me. She's also good with strategies. I was kicked on my left jaw, and I have bruise on my left shin. I was hurt, and I just couldn't fight back. I'm thinking of getting back into shape for the tournament and to upgrade my belt, but I need rigorous training in order to be competetive again.

5. Lastly, I'm missing Ham. Both of us have been busy these past few days. I'm really looking forward to videochat again with him.

For now, goodnight... must sleep now...

Drive

2008-07-31T20:49:00.002+08:00

After years of being persuaded by Ham.. finally i gave in.. I decided to learn how to drive. And I must admit it's pretty cool and interesting!

Ham enrolled me for a 10-hour-course, 2 hours per day. On my 1st day, I drove Vios 2008. I drove around Malacañang, getting the feel of the clutch, brake, gas, 1st gear and 2nd gear. On the 2nd and 3rd day however, I drove a Nissan Sentra. It's very different compared to Vios, the clutch is deeper, I don't like it that much. But during those times, I learned to drive from Tayuman till Macapagal, passing thru UST, Quiapo, Macapagal, Pandacan, until Pedro Gil under the heavy downpour of rain. I had to restart a number of times since I can't control clutch and gas that much especially when there's slow traffic and I'm in the intersection.

On my 4th day (today), still with a heavy downpour of rain and flooded streets, I drove Vios 2006 which is really good and just right for my driving skills (novice,hehe), shallow clutch and easier to push with gas. So even if the weather wasn't really good, I had fun driving it. I was able to park it at a gas station's toilet and to relieve (#1), but of course with my instructor's directions.

I have 2 more hours left to practice driving, I hope I'll be able to practice more of parking and the weather will be good on that last day. I just wonder whether Ham will let my drive his car,haha!

Oh and btw, thanks also to boyokoy for helping me renew my driver's license. ^__^

RNs

2008-07-31T20:04:00.002+08:00

Thank God! That's all I can say!... ^__^

Congratulations to all of us who passed the June 2008 Nursing Licensure Exam.

2-second descent

2008-06-26T16:54:00.003+08:00

I've discovered yet another hidden talent yesterday! It all happened in a flash. I was in the bathroom taking a shower when i remembered not closing the door upstairs. In our house, children and adults-a-like would tend to pass through our maze-like passages whether to just pass through or to get something from our supply. Anyway, I just don't want to be surprised when after a cold bath and walking naked in our house, somebody would come in and see my rather unpleasant figure.

After locking the door, I walked back to the stairs going to the bathroom. As I stepped on the 2nd step from the top, my feet slipped from my slippers. There were no time to think, my body just reacted and tried to stop my sudden plunge with whatever I could hold on to. At last my throbbing bottom found the last step. I was surprised that I'm still holding on to my towel which solely wrap my body. I checked myself for any injury acquired, and thank God there were none..

I winced as I got up, every part of my body was aching. As I resumed my bathing, I found out that 3/4 of my left lower arm was covered with a reddish long bruise with scrape, a scrape on my right wrist, fist sized bruise on my right butt cheek, and edematous toes.

That was the first time I slipped from our stairs... It was quite an experience, I must admit. The usual 4-second descent on our 8-step-stairs took only 2 seconds for me. quite a talent, eh? ^__^ I'm not searching for my hidden talent though... ^__^

My mom's bday

2008-06-22T20:07:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was my mom's birthday... Happy Birthday Mommy! I believe she had a blast on her 49th bday. On the eve of her bday, me, mom, her friends tita M, and P went to Greenbelt 3 and had dinner. Initially, I planned to have dinner at the Krocodile Grille since I was the one appointed to choose and organize it. But when we got there at 8pm we're on the 6th of the waiting list. So since our tummy's were complaining I had to come up with the next plan.

It's been a long while since I went to Greenbelt and checked on the new restos and bar. As we went down the escalator, I noticed that the Tavern bar where we watched MYMP with my friends including boyokoy, 3 years ago, was already closed and in its place a new restobar was opened. It's now called Tropezz Restaurant Bar. I decided to try that one, and since they all agreed, it was settled then. There was a Live Band which was a plus for me, the interior is good, the food is good (I like the blue marlin and their calamares), and they have a VIP room enclosed by a sliding glass door, where it' more lighted, and more quiet compared to the usual non-smoking area-- well suited for my 40ish mom and friends.

Yesterday though, mom treated me and my female younger cousins to a movie. We watched Kung Fu Panda while she was shopping. The movie was so hilarious that I cried for laughing out so much. Afterwards, we just had a small party for them. "Them" because my mom's eldest sibling was also celebrating his bday.

My mom, is not just an ordinary mom. She raised me and my brother well single-handedly. She's our sweetest alarm clock, my closest friend, my 1st teacher, our clown, our dancer, my mother. More than anything else, I want her happiness. Wherever and whoever it will be... I just want her to be happy.

tired

2008-06-19T17:05:00.002+08:00

Been a while Echt...

I wasn't really in the mood to divulge what's on my feeble mind. Lack of interest, and purpose maybe. But Ham enliven my yielding spirit. So here I am, pouring my heart out, for those who would want to "hear" my story.

Since graduation from BSN last April, up until now, my breathing is abated... by worries. I reviewed the whole April and May for the Local board exam last June 1 and 2, but I don't think it was enough. A lot have said that it was easy... but not for me. I can only hope now for miracles... I pray that It's God's Will that I'll pass it. Haay.. I lift it all up to Him na lng.

Sometimes I'm thinking that I'm having future shock, doing things immediately and in fast pace. But then again I'm already 24, and at this age, I really should be doing double time in ensuring that my future will be alright.

But I'm tired now.
I'm tired of worrying.
I'm tired of being a pessimist.

Thy Will be done.

Summer Rain

2008-03-28T08:30:00.003+08:00

Today feels like being drenched by the summer rain, medium size rain drops consistently pouring on my body and at the same time, a brightly shining sun keeps me warm and hopeful that the rain will soon stop.

I have been wrongly accused by our former "family friend". Degrading me, blaming me for something that I didn't do. At first, I kept it to myself. I felt like a sudden rain of problems poured while I'm standing in an open field with no other shed for cover, drenching me with it, not knowing that Ham, my family and my friends are ready to run on the field and share an umbrella of protection and prayers for me.

I lift it all up to God, He knows what must be done.

I am so blessed, despite everything, the assurance and the prayers given to me by my loved ones are very heartwarming.

And so, even if the fight isn't over yet, I know that everything will be alright... soon.

Friendster Horoscope

2008-03-08T00:38:00.002+08:00

I am not that fanatic with horoscope and such. I know that God is the only one who knows about my future. However, I still do read my horoscope given a chance, but that doesnt mean i believe in it.^__^

Anyway, Friendster gives a very nice "horoscope" so far, cause it doesn't really predict what would really happen to you on that day, but rather, advises you and reminds you to become a better person each day.

here's my dose of daily advice from friendster:

The Bottom Line

Resist the urge to create drama just to have something to do. Avoid all conflict.

In Detail

If your routine is starting to get boring, resist the urge to create a problem just for the sake of having something to talk about! You need to avoid conflict now more than ever. Things might be less than exciting, but they are stable, and that is a very good thing. Think of your routine as a lazy, lovely stream. Just drift along and enjoy the peace and quiet. This kind of attitude will lead you in the right direction and give you a lot more clarity in the future.

saktong sakto!^___^

Moody

2008-02-21T16:24:00.003+08:00

Rose in a box

2008-02-14T21:02:00.004+08:00

For Valentine's day, I didn't participate much with the usual mass sending of txt messages greeting friends of Happy VDay! I didn't even prepare something for Hamkin. That's why I was so touched when Hamkin even gave me another surprise today!

After bathing, I was informed that I received a package. I was surprised for I know that Hamkin wouldn't give me another present for this day. When I opened it, it was a disheveled box with a single long stemmed rose in it. Honestly, I was nonchalant, for I thought it was from my anonymous sender of bouquet again. Good thing my tita said there's still a card inside the packaging. Imagine my face lighting up as I opened it and saw that it's from Ham. I was so touched that I called him right away, only to be greeted by his recorded "leave me a message" voice mail. But then he called back and I even cried because he's sooo sweet and thoughtful for ever thinking of that. I feel so blessed for having him as a boyfriend. He's not the usual bf who would please you just to get something from you. He knows what's important, he knows what to prioritize, he gives me direction, and he's my inspiration. I know that I've grown as a person and one of the reasons is him.

We had online date when he got home. We shared a dessert together. He bought krispy kreme honey glazed donut and I bought dunkin donuts' promo donut and choco butternut. It was nice. A really nice date to spend Vday together. We may be miles away from each other but I know that our hearts are beating for each other. I love you Ham!

Pearl Hotel Manila

2008-02-10T14:23:00.001+08:00

The Pearl Hotel Manila, just along Taft avenue and in United Nations.

This is the receiving area. I like the sofa. Long and firm. However, the cable from the lamp shouldn't be placed like that. They should have put the socket behind the stand and hide the excess cable.

Angle from the bathroom and closet side.

The bed is big and comfy. The pillows are soft and really nice to cuddle with. They have Sky cable on the TV, so it's really good.

The bathroom was small though. But if you're not that picky with it, and would just stay in the bathroom only for necessities, then I guess you wouldnt have a problem.

After Ham introduced me that popcorn, I fell in love with it instantly. It's low fat, low calories, and rich in fiber. Plus the Novellino's strawberry red wine is a good brand as well.

Aah.. this gummy bear is really good. I especially like it, coming from the fridge. When it's really hard and that you have to really chew hard on it. yummy! I don't get much of it these days. I only get it whenever my tita from Germany will be coming home. Only selected supermarkets have that in stock.

That was the smoke coming from the burning rubber tire store in blumentritt, as we later on learned from the news.

Tattoed on my mind, and Crazy for you. Hahaha! Good thing our only audience were mommy, papa alee, and the waiters.

Nice day for a swim. However, I couldnt swim that day, nor mom would want to without me.

Pearl for Valentine's day

2008-02-10T12:52:00.000+08:00

Valentine's Day is nearing once again. Im sure every restaurant will be jam packed again. Business will be blooming as the hopeless romantics would purchase a lot of gifts for their beaus. I can't blame them, it's really something to celebrate... well, for me it is.

Back in 2002, I had my first dinner date and a stuff toy with a rose for Valentine's day.
Back in 2003, I serenaded him during his class, with matching poem and rose for it (though i was not the one who went personally)
Also in 2003, just after our valentine's date, my first love, my first special friend, "broke up" with me.
Back in 2004, I dated others. But no one ever fills the emptiness in my heart.
Back in 2005, we were reunited, though LDR once again, we dated online... complete with main course and dessert as our VDay date
Back in 2006 and 2007, he was able to still stay, days before Vday, before he went back to Sydney.
This year, he made me and mom happy when he booked us in Pearl Hotel Manila for an overnight stay.

We stayed in a junior suite at 15th floor and didn't do anything the rest of the afternoon. I wasn't able to swim though... huhu.... wrong timing for a 1st day. And so just watched the hearing of Lozada with the senate, and saw from our room, smoke coming from afar... which eventually turned out a fire from a rubber tire store in blumentritt.

Nothing to do. But watch, lie on bed, chat with mom, and eat my rare treat for myself: Haribo, Chef Tony's White Chocolate Walnut popcorn, and strawberrry red wine of Novellino.

If im with Ham in that place, i bet I can do lots of things... naughty naughty me..

I did enjoy the dinner with mom. We invited papa alee (my lolo's brother) to the hotel, and dined with him at the Oyster restaurant, the hotel restaurant. I ordered Katsudon, and them Tempura bento. It was good, and I really felt satiated after that. We talked mostly bout financial things (if only i have money for some investments), and then drank some beer to the hotel bar. There were performers in it, Menchi and Babes. And since we were the only audience, I had the courage to sing with them when they invited me on stage. I partly sang Tattoed on my mind (which was kinda high and not really suited for my voice), and Crazy for you (which they even lowered to one key)hehe.

In the morning, after the buffet breakfast which me and mom really enjoyed, we went to the poolside and just took pictures. It was something so memorable that I'm ever so grateful with Ham for it...He's really one of a kind. Te amo hamkin.

unorthodox

2008-02-10T12:30:00.000+08:00

I truly object with the way a person criticizes people even those who looks timid and conventional. I can join in the bickering with my friends when they see someone who outrageously show off their difference from others. I mean it's just a harmless laugh anyway. But I truly don't get it when girls tend to look so mean and finding fault to those who wanted to be timid and conventional. The usual comment would be, "nasa loob lang ang kulo niyan". And once they heard something bad about that shy girl, they would have a winning smile on their face and say, "see? tama ang hinala ko". And they would have a contented smile on their face, and feeling as if they're superior, because unlike them, they truly show the others that they're verbose, unreserved, and outgoing. If that's their personality and true to themselves I don't think they should really have a problem with those who are their complete opposite.

Retreat 2008

2008-01-30T22:28:00.000+08:00

I didn't join the retreat this year, but instead went to my lolo's house in Cainta with Mom. I don't think i missed that much though...

I spent time with my bulilit cousins. Me and my 6-yr-old cousin fetched her grade 2 sister Charlene from school, driving the pedicab! Nice, at least i can drive that properly. After unloading her super heavy bag at home we went to see our other cousins Maybel, April, and Jun who are all under 10 yrs old, and who just lived nearby. They are so hyperactive and wanting to have their turn in the pedicab or the bicycle, which Cheska brought with her. Actually I did envy their prowess in riding the bicycle, for up until now I haven't learn how to do it.

My lolo, still in his bed, have sharper memory than lola who's got a mild alzheimer's disease. Lolo however, became considerably thinner, with his bones outlining his frame. But he still have a good grip, and I like the feel of it everytime I hold his hand. Strong grip, just like his will to live.

Tita Josie, Daddy's older sister will be coming back to Germany later tonight. She, Tita Ching, and Tita Vigie arrived here this month to visit lolo. Though Tita Ching went back to London and Tita Vigie to Oman a week earlier. Tito Eddie, the eldest might come home too this February, coming from Canada. It'll be just Daddy who won't be coming home anytime soon.

There was a bit of a melodrama before we left Cainta. Tita Jo's reminding me and Mom that we are loved, and that I'm blessed for having a great Mom like my Mom. And I agree to that. I'm really blessed for having a family like mine. Not perfect, but just right. ^__^ Thank God for that.

leakage

2008-01-29T19:50:00.000+08:00

In highschool, cheating was unfamiliar.
In college, it was a taboo.
In nursing, it's being resourceful.

tsk tsk...mga kabataan talaga ngayon. ^^

Sunday

2008-01-27T18:11:00.000+08:00

A very nice day today. Spent morning till evening with Ham online, chat with webcam. It's definitely a quality time together.

With the end of Daylight Saving Time, soon, chat will be more frequent. Unlike now we could only chat on Thursdays and weekends... that is if I don't have reviews.

I had a nice time with you ham. See you again on Thursday. ^___^

Commitment

2008-01-27T16:55:00.000+08:00

ISL or Intermediate Sign Language class already started yesterday. Too bad I didn't enroll. Ate Mimi enrolled though, and was very excited on the first day. She even started using SL again during Mass whenever she's not playing the Organ. And since I'm the only one she can communicate with it, I had no choice but to decipher the signs again. I had a hard time remembering it, nakakainis tlaga. I really need to practice it consistently if I really want to be good in it.

I realized that wanting to learn SL is different from committing yourself in the Ministry. Commitment means investing time and effort. It's not solely for yourself but for those who would benefit after you were able to learn it.

It started though with the desire. I had that when I started with the BSL. But alas, right now, I committed myself to other important things. And I think these things demand more time and prioritization.

I'm not a Superwoman or even Darna. I can't do it all. I need to focus more on these things first... But I will come back and commit myself again to the ministry.

Creative shot

2008-01-27T13:31:00.000+08:00

Oh ok.. there's one picture that i really like. Probably because my face was partly hidden and that the shot was not a close-up hehe. I do like it's natural side, and brings more of myself... i don't smile that much. ^___^

Ham said that this one is a lot better than my plastered smile from my formal grad pix. ^___^

I really want to learn guitar, but I really can't memorize the chords. Also, I don't have much patience to sit down and self-learn. That's why I opted to go for that look in my creative shot... something i want to do in the future.

Grad pic

2008-01-24T18:32:00.000+08:00

i DON'T LIKE my grad pic. Too made up and waaah... like what ham said.. i'm just not photogenic. Maybe that's why I just like to be behind the camera... capturing other people's moments than being shot at.

I like my creative shot though... coz my face is partly hidden and that i wasn't looking directly at the camera..

7 in 1

2008-01-17T20:24:00.000+08:00

There's this new coffee brand that promotes their 7 in 1 mix. The one with agaricus mushroom a rich source of antioxidant; a korean ginseng that according to them improves mental performance, alertness, and cognitive functions; spirulina that provides essential amino acids; reishi that lowers blood pressure; coffee; cream; and of course sugar.

Being a coffee drinker, I tried it out yesterday. And actually love the taste. I consumed 2 sachets (meant for 4 servings) during breakfast and 1 sachet again in the evening.

My mind was practically alert all night. My lids are heavy and yet my mind was soo alert... I hate the feeling... but not the coffee.

And so for tonight, I opted for milk instead, and hopefully have my 8 hours of sleep (one of my resolutions).

Neotericus

2008-01-15T21:50:00.000+08:00

My College Friends at Ham's Tagaytay Home.
(L-R) Brian, Ann, Kim, Paul, Ham, and me

Finally, I got to meet them again. I hope they still had a Merry Christmas ^___^

We stayed in Greenhills for 10 hours, to meet up with his HS friends (Jody, Marvin, Scott, and Hans) and to buy PSP as his Xmas gift.

Meeting up with Ham's friends for dinner
(L-R) me, ham, Kelvin, Ralph, Angel, Arianne, and Carl

2008, a new year, a better me

2008-01-15T20:30:00.000+08:00

Whoa! Another year has passed. I got older I must admit... with a lot of things that has happened in my 2007, I can't help but grow physically and mentally.

So for 2008, I got to start the year right. I eliminated some of my excess baggage: let go of worries and anxieties, regrets, asked for God's forgiveness and those I hurt, and forgave myself for committing mistakes.

I am not perfect, but for my 2008... I intend to become a better person each day.

No promises... but I'm gonna do it little by little.

To my friends, who have always been there during my ups and downs... thank you soo much. You know who you are. If you know my deepest darkest secrets, consider yourself as my friend. Sorry if I offended you at times, but all the same thanks for being a great friend.

To my family, I know I have caused you some disappointments in life... but thanks for still supporting me. I know I've got lots of room for improvement...I hope in time I could give you something to be proud of. Thank you for giving your best to raise me well..

To Hamkin, we've been together for years now, but almost half of it are spent in our cyberworld. We date online, we sometimes quarrel online, and we spend quality time online... A lot would disagree and even discourage our kind of relationship. But there were some who still support us. It's not easy. There are hardships along the way: there are temptations, extra curricular activities, conflicts bet. our own family. But because of that hardships, it made me a better person. And it only made me more convinced to become a better one for you... I love you. I hope to spend a lifetime with you.

Truth potion

2007-10-17T19:02:00.000+08:00

I grew up in a family were most of our male family members are the usual "pabling", "chickboy", and a "player" in a MILD sense. Anyway, there's this one rule that I observed from them.. No matter how big the evidence was, they won't ever admit doing it. Is it really the unwritten rule in our male dominated society?

Anyway my friend Doug (not his real name), did otherwise. He told his wife that he had an affair after a lot of investigation from his wife. Now, he's suffering the consequence of that illicit action. Even though he did that to show his regret and remorse, his wife won't ever trust him 100%.

My Inay on the other hand is regretting for ever finding out about the truth with her Asawa. Even with a lot of hints and later on the truth from her sis-in-law. She's happy to believe that her Asawa is one of a kind and wouldn't do such things. But it was fated for her to know the TRUTH. She was distraught and unhappy. Over the time, she regained her self-esteem, forgiven him, and still hopes they'll be together in the end. However, she still preferred not knowing the whole story.

Now here's my big question.. would all girls prefer for their beau to admit their affair or not?

Injustice League

2007-10-17T18:36:00.001+08:00

Too much effort has been wasted. Too much time has been spent. Case pres, Defense, Finals. We've stretched ourselves to our limit ha. But those aren't enough to make one look deserving of that "pass".

Sure they had a deliberation, composed of those vicious CIs who like to distribute " violation slips" (which they had a commission for), but... did they really made their part? Did they really put consideration on us students?

Did they really think it over? Those people whom they failed are much worthy than those who got the chance to take the removal exam.

And why did they just screen students now? Why not last year or last sem before we set foot on the last level?

Sure I passed the course this sem. Thank God. But, who knows what will happen next?

It isn't fair. Life's not fair...

time

2007-10-03T11:01:00.001+08:00

I envy those who pursue what they really want in their life. Those who happily go on and continue with their life not being bothered with duties and responsibilities. such carefree life is all i want.

everyday is like being in a race, striving to surpass each hurdle present and blocking my way. one hurdle down... and there'll be a lot more to come.

i wanted to give up. i wanted to just explore different things and not be tied down with things that just stress me down. but alas, i wasn't born with so much opportunities that will let me just party and do nothing with my life... and have the luxury of time.

time... ah.. so precious time. I want it to spend to ham, to my family, to my friends. but i've got limited time...

bitchy me

2007-09-04T17:41:00.001+08:00

Do i look that bitchy that other women would think im gonna take their partners from them? Hell, i may look like it but im not gonna do that. Im contented and satisfied now with my beau, that im not gonna wander away from him. I just hope their partners would show the things that they wanted to feel so they would feel secure and contented.

impromptu

2007-09-02T21:20:00.000+08:00

although i don't like an impromptu speech, i do like an impromptu act. i realized that though my heart is pumping hard on both situations, the latter feels much better.

here's some red wine.. let's drink to that! cheers!

London bridge

2007-08-15T00:17:00.000+08:00

My brother just got his UK student visa! He'll be going to London to study and also work, for at least a year. I'm really happy for him, but at the same time sad. It will just be Mom and me na lng at home. That, plus the fact that I'm afraid of being left behind.

Will I ever be stuck here in Manila? Hope not.

too many

2007-07-16T22:42:00.000+08:00

there's been a lot of happenings these days and i just couldn't start telling it in a nice way. last sunday ate mi and i invited our friends from deaf ministry, S, R, ate F, and a classmate J. Just ate some dinner had some chitchat and signed with them. got really inspired from them, and how much i would want to be with them in serving God.

went to my best friend's place too and there we shared some moments of silence, and a language that only friends could interpret.

today, i learned 3 shocking news: 1st, a neighbor died. well i don't know who passed away but im certainly much concerned on how they died so soon and just days after another neighbor died (+may God bless their souls). blame it to superstitions, but im still not that at ease with discussions of death.

2nd, a friend of a cousin was admitted to the hospital last night. a man snatched her bag while riding the jeep at 8pm and accidentally took her arm too outside the fast driving jeep. she's now in icu and is scheduled for an operation due to internal hemorrhage. i hope she'll get better soon.

3rd, and the only lovely news than the above, is the marriage of ham's friend. they secretly did the wedding since last year and only told their parents only late may. they are two lovely persons, and im sincerely happy for them... this news plus the fact that it reverted again my feelings into one of awe... primarily because of the fact that they could already decide for a serious matter like that while I cant do anything much.

but then again... life is too short.. i dont even know if i could even make it till 60. so in conclusion... i guess i just have to be happy always and seize every moment in my life.

south wanderers

2007-07-13T01:48:00.000+08:00

Just got home from a gimmick. I watched Wanders at Airport Casino with cousin Joy courtesy of my tito who gave us 2 tickets for this event. We were supposed to attend the cocktail party too but due to our hectic sched and given the geographic distance, coming from north going to south, we're just lucky we got there just before it started.

Wanders is a fusion of acrobatics with musical rendition of different genre, be it classical, retro, or the "street drumming". The performers did well on their numbers though some made some minor mishaps, the entirety of the show was excellent. I particularly like the Chinese guys doing their tumblings and swinging, moving swiftly and in a fluid manner.

The performers' bodies arent beefed up, even their arms arent the usual toned with muscles.. and yet they could carry their weight in one arm or just with a leg. It must be really hard work and strict discipline when it comes to practice, and I salute them for having both virtues.

That performance and the fact that me and my cousin were able to bond twice (since we just watched Transformers last Tuesday) made this week really senti for me. It's been a while since I last indulge myself in such activities, and with that I'm really glad... ^___^

Emergency

2007-07-05T01:04:00.000+08:00

Watching George Clooney and other doctors at the pop ER series makes my adrenaline rush. However, being in that place yourself and not just the watcher from the boobtube, is quite a different experience.

Maybe it was my fault for not being so attentive during my previous duty there last summer, that led me to an embarassing moment of my life. Being reprimanded in front of other people.... Since then, I dont even want to pass by that place...horrible horrible!

But maybe the stars isnt that good to me then, that my first rotation as a senior was scheduled there (of all places!), and in the PMshift. Not only that, we would still be having another duty there for our last rotation for night time. So then... if u want something, you wont have it, instead, the opposite.

C'est La vie

speech

2007-06-28T10:46:00.000+08:00

After going to and fro in Taft, getting course desription for my engltri, I still didnt let my speech class be credited with ms. claus. After all, I already paid for it, I might as well get that opportunity to relearn how to speak upfront and gain the confidence needed for each occasion.

In lieu with that, short presentations such as role playing, pantomime, debate, lecture, and oral speech are part of the requirements to pass the course. So far it's quite enjoyable, too bad plays aren't part of it. I am particularly eyeing on The New Yorker in Tondo if given a chance to do it. Or if not for the class, i want it to become a part of a small presentation in our Church *jst a wishful thinking though*.. That is why im still looking for that script online, but apparently there's none. I guess i have to really look for it in the green archer's lib one of these days.

Or if anyone knows where to get a copy of it... pls pls.. do send me the link. thanks!

Green me

2007-06-05T20:06:00.000+08:00

Haaaah! that's it! It's my doing of course. I wouldnt want to spoil his enthusiasm bout his work that's why I tried not to see him and vice versa so facial expression wouldnt matter and an emoticons were ok to fill it up. But in the end, I blew it all!

Grr... no more green monsters please? even if i like green, it's not really helpful to be presenting itself now.

Im really glad that he likes his work and that he meets a lot of people at the same time. It's just the Me who's the problem.. damn insecurities!

A CELEBRATION

2007-05-20T15:50:00.000+08:00

Finally... my Hamkin already finished his uni days and is about to enter a new chapter in his life.

CONGRATULATIONS HAMKIN! IM PROUD OF YOU... MWAH

April Fools

2007-04-03T00:59:00.000+08:00

I'm really disappointed! Up until now, the packaged I have sent was being held up in Alexandria. I don't know what kind of clearance they wanted. The Fedex personnel accepted the package, meaning it passed their initial assessment. I even gave them permission to open it since it's clearance was delayed in Alexandria. According to the Track, it was already "in transit" to Rydalmere and hopefully by april 2, it has already reached it's destination. But when I checked it again, it was once again returned to Alexandria.

I would accept that they're just being careful, I just hope it wouldn't cause any trouble in the process. If it would be delayed, what can I do? I just hope they wouldn't create much more hassle tomorrow.

I'm starting to lose my patience actually. I still can't compress my file to make it just 100 mb, just enough space for free video hosting. That and me worrying about that package.. too much stress talaga.

I'd better continue this tomorrow morn... anyway.. Happy BIrthday Hamkin! Mwah

ang aking itay

2007-03-18T14:47:00.000+08:00

I just had a phone conversation with my Dad. It's been a while since we had a "father-daughter" chat, and I think it's an improvement. He gave me insights as to how I should live life and how to plan for my future. There are some biases of course, but at least we agreed on one thing, that our life is a blessing and we should spend each day thanking the Creator for our life.

Though there are still topics we can't talk freely without feeling awkward, at least it's one step towards that goal.

help...

2007-03-15T19:00:00.000+08:00

I felt guilty after thinking too much about my problem. After posting my last post, I was faced with yet another problem that concerns a member of my family.

This time, it isnt just "oh shucks, i gained weight", or "damn, i got another pimple on my forehead", but more like ".... Oh God, please help us get through this."

With that, please pray for our family, we seriously need your support.

Cold Case

2007-03-14T18:25:00.000+08:00

I don’t know if it’s the lack of sleep, constant revision in output, or the threat of “backjob” that made our group so tensed and uptight the past few weeks. The defense for our case was finally over last March 8 (Thank God!). We don’t know yet our grade but at least we don’t have to rewrite it from the start (as the usual case in other groups).

However, there are still some revisions and with that, the cold war isn’t over yet, as with the case of R and C. Moods aren’t that good still and it’s between the “mature one” and the “toxic one”. I sure hope it’ll be over soon, I miss the “toxic’s” toxicity in the group.

In a group, be it school related or just in my circle of friends, I am always neutral. I thought that it is a better way of dealing with groups. I didn’t know that a friend of mine was already hurt with that kind of attitude.

All I wanted to do is to for everyone to feel acknowledged. I don’t like odds, I always wanted it to be even. I make sure that everybody’s got a pair. But that didn’t happen last week. One of my friends felt “left out” since all had backed out from the planned activity that day---watching 300.

I felt bad when he walked out on us. I don’t know how to console him, so we just let it be and cool it off. Hoping that the next time we’ll meet it will be over soon and everything will be like it used to be. That didn’t happen. While my friend was ok now in dealing with my other friends, I still get the cold shoulders.

It was only this afternoon that I learned the true reason why he got ill feelings about me. I’m not good in explaining but I hope I’ll be able to explain my side the next time we’ll meet.

3 months

2007-02-28T05:58:00.000+08:00

I haven’t included yet the part where I spent my 3 months of absence in the blogging world. Usually, I am online at YM, email, friendster, and in blogspot because I am online chatting with my better half, Ham. But during that time, he was away, not in his flat in Sydney but back in his homeland, yep he was here!

Let’s go and talk about my Birthday month first. I celebrated my 23rd birthday at home, just the usual surprise party planned by Mom and Ate Mi. Ham and I weren’t able to chat since he was having his final exam that time (A very toxic time for him) and moving some of his stuff at his cousin’s place up North. Very busy indeed, but then, I wouldn’t complain on that, not since he SURPRISED me during our Capping and Pinning Ceremony. ^_______^

I didn’t know that he talked secretly with my Mom and was asking question as to how to reach the Sto. Domingo Church where it was held. He even called me the day before, and was telling me that he’s in the train station and was waiting for the “train” that would transport him in the Amusement Park to meet his cousin and nephews. Of course I believed him; he’s not fond of lying anyway.

The next day, during the ceremony, I just couldn’t shake myself from wishing that a miracle would happen and let Ham be with me during that time. The ceremony was nearing its end, and I feel a bit depressed for having wished something so impossible. My cellphone suddenly rang, it was Ham, just asking me where am I and what am I doing, I said “I’m in the ceremony. Why?” I asked. Then suddenly, I realized that his background was also my background. I turned around and there he was standing at the back of the last pew. It was like a scene in a movie! My reaction that time was remarkable, I reckon. He walked towards my Mom and sat beside her. I had to crane my neck just to see him clearly, since I couldn’t still believe my eyes, and couldn’t believe that my Ham was able to pull that surprise-thing perfectly. I couldn’t contain myself any longer and so I dragged him outside and there I talked and hugged and kissed him all at once. My eyes and smile sparkle afterwards especially when I received my cap in the altar. ^____^

A few dates afterward and then he started working part time in a Gaming company with our friend Bri as his “boss” in the Marketing Department. Good thing he’s our friend, and he managed to get the “Big boss” in allowing him to work for only a month due to time constraint in his sched. I managed to fetched him there one time and see how it operates. Imagine my shock when most of those who work there are wearing just shirt and maong pants while my Ham is in his long sleeves folded up to his elbow, and pants. He looks more like the boss actually, hehe, he’s so handsome!

Anyway, that was around December. Aside from Ham’s work, another highlight would have to be the time when Ham arranged a dinner meeting for me to meet his brother and his fiancée. It felt like it was a job interview that I have to pass and get the first impression right. We dined at Kimono Ken just across Little Asia where we had our first real date back in 2002. I just couldn’t speak that much, first off: I had colds that time, second: I just don’t know how to butt-in in her sister-in-law’s stories; and lastly: I was still gauging how to deal with them.

Anyway, after the dinner, I thought I could go home early and rest after that stressful encounter. But I was wrong. His sis-in-law (Cat) invited us for some dessert at Annabel Lee’s. The place was cozy, very relaxing. I actually like it. Still conversing, there I start to talk a bit until we were invited at her place for a game of Scrabble. That time, I wasn’t really that sure if I could play it with sense. I haven’t play that game for real, so I don’t know the specific details of it. Anyway, though the 3 of them are good in putting words and earning points, and I am not, I felt so doomed. But sorry, Cat’s mom helped me in the latter part, and I managed to bag the first place, great! I still believe in the beginner’s luck. ^__^. That night was stressful I must admit, but I managed to enjoy it, and hope that somehow I was accepted by his bro and sis-in-law even for a bit.

By the way, Ham gave me two guinea pigs this time, Boo and Gab. Boo already passed away. He only managed to live for a month. Good thing Gab is still warm, fat, alive, and coos like a bird up until now.

January was the most toxic month for Ham. That was the month wherein he toured Bora (again), Palawan, Bohol, and Bacolod for some diving spots and finding nemo. Lots of underwater pictures were taken and they were mostly good, different kinds of fishes, shrimps, and a shipwreck. It was also during this time that he had to practice his song for his lola’s 90th party, and writing the speech for his bro’s wedding.

Finally February came, though I was invited in the wedding of his bro, I couldn’t just go there and attend. It was a Friday, and as usual, our Evaluation exam. I couldn’t let it pass. The night before the wedding, I felt happy and yet sad and jealous for Cat. For finally, she’s gonna be formally a part of their family. I on the other hand, is clearly not welcome, and it would be a Mission Impossible if I would insist myself to them. Oh well, that’s another sad part of my life.

During Ham’s last night here, we dined and watch movie with his friends at Rockwell. It was quite memorable since one of his friends was having a hard time in the matters of the heart. His friends are quite amusing actually and I understand now their personalities. He wasn’t able to extend his stay here and still needs to fix his PR stuff in Australia so he really has to go. He was here for 3 months and we spent most of our time together with some quality time… what more could I ask for?

Crazy for you

2007-02-27T00:41:00.000+08:00

I’ve been meaning to at least update my blog for the past 3 months but I cannot put everything that happened and organize it to one concise post. Now, everything’s been piled up and I don’t know how to start.

Ok, I’ll try this way. At the moment, I just had my duty at the National Center for Mental Health. For other schools, the duty should last for 4 weeks. Ours, specifically our group only had 4 days. It wasn’t enough to fully have an interaction with our clients but it is enough to see that there a lot of people who needs understanding and therapeutic means to console their needs.

One of the highlights of that exposure (for me) would have to be the self-awareness activity, which we had before meeting our patients. It’s about expressing our genuine feelings and just being true about our life and how we feel about it. We had to draw a figure of a man and put symbols, words or phrases to symbolize our answers to a particular question (e.g. for the head region, draw a symbol of your God given talent, for the right eye, draw a symbol of who you are right now). I was the first one called to interpret my drawing. I am a bit confident with my work since it’s just trivial and I know how to express it, but what caught me off guard was the part when I had to tell bout the person who’s responsible in my life, and reversely, who I am responsible with. It all started with that question and my CI inquired more. It had somehow touched a sensitive part in my life which I thought I am over with, but tears just welled up in my eyes and I just have to pour it all. It was hard telling it to a friend, and admitting that kind of situation, all the more it was hard to tell it to a group of 12. Unexpectedly, I felt so light after sharing it, and somehow realized that I am still accepting everything that has happened. I am still in the process of accepting everything that changed in our life. And I have to be strong for them.
oeHowe

Another experience was interacting with our patients who are mostly schizophrenic. Mine is mentally retarded. He’s nice and behaved, only he got this separation anxiety. He had a fight with his fellow dorm mate during our last day there just before he went out of his dorm. We didn’t do much during our duty there mostly therapies such as Remotivation, Music and Arts, Occupational, Culinary, and Biblio therapy. We weren’t able to talk much with them vis-a-vis.

The last one was the tour in the special ward. We went to a pavilion where most of the male patients are naked whole year round. Most of them are regressing, so they are either curled up in a fetal position or naked. If they are not doing anything, they would either play with their thing, or kiss other mates, and then play with their thing. According to our CI, it’s their way of releasing tension and stress. The window between the ward and the nurse’s station were full of the byproduct of their past time, and the stench, incredible (even though they bathe everyday).

The next ward consists of chronic patients who are either violent to themselves or other patients, so a restraining bed or chair is always at hand. Most of them are shouting and they are mostly the kind you would not want to get near you because they are unpredictable. But of course, just like everyone else, they have the right to get the necessary care to treat their illness.

There is also the ward for those who are 18 and below. There are the female wards of course, both pay ward and charity ward. We weren’t able to visit the forensic male ward where all those who committed crime, yet who claimed to be crazy where put into.

ECT or the Electric Convulsive Therapy was another thing. We were able to witness and assist the patient as they go about the therapy. It was both an interesting and scary thing to witness. However, it’s something that would help their anterior frontal cortex to open up and receive brain waves better so they really have to undergo that procedure.

Lastly, it’s all about all meeting up with my friends at quarter to six in the morning and gather up at boy-okoy’s car that would transport us to NCMH, eating the excess food for our patients, imitating some of the model patients there like the “Converted One with the Power of the Twin Rats”, the “Debater”, or the “Best in Chat”; the Socialization we had in the end along with the games that come with it, and of course our “Itaktak Mo” dance, no matter how crazy we all look like.

In the end, we realized that some of them are really smart and that they need to be treated just like an adult and not as a kid who only knows grade school stuff. They need caring and understanding and not just to be the laughing stock. They are also human and that we must respect them as one.

Confessions

2006-11-08T17:51:00.000+08:00

Sometimes emotions are bottled up inside and you just cant find a word to describe how you feel. I myself is very good in bottling things up and I just cant pinpoint the real cause of my emotions until one triggers it.

Ive found this great site called Creative Women with a lot of them writing beautiful poems, which I realized sometimes reflect how I feel.

I particularly like this one:

Personal AdsBy: Laura Lord

Wrap your arms around me
tell me everything’s okay
Give me a place I feel at home
one where I am safe
So many times I’ve given of me
asked nothing in return
Not so much a choice of mine
but rather what I learned
Very early in my life
people expected of me
But now the scars I have inside
are raw enough to bleed
Not anything I normally tell
all of these childhood fears
The demands of me, constant still
and I’ve grown weary through the years
Searching for unconditional love
someone who wants just me
But all I have ever known
is dependence, fear, and need
See inside this soul of mine
look at what I’ve lived
I’ll offer you all I have
but don’t take more than I can give
So if you already love yourself
and have nothing I need to heal
Then wrap your arms around me
and I’ll allow myself to feel

©Laura Lord

Sem break

2006-11-05T13:21:00.000+08:00

Our semestral break is almost over and I haven't even done some serious "vacationing". No trips out of town nor beach for that matter. But then again, i could say that I've been more focused with family now. I Spent time with Papa (lolo), and have his Diabetes controlled by a specialized doctor, and ultimately made him stop drinking beer every night and smoking (every time im with him, at least). I went to market with him, and one time helped with preparing meatballs by rolling the grounded meat in my hands with some flour. It sounds icky, i know, because even while I'm doing the rolling on my clean palm of my hands, I'm unsure if I would want to taste it after it was cooked with the "misua". Curious as I was, I tasted it na rin, and fortunately it went out well and tasty too.

Then came the 7th Death Anniversary of Nanay (lola, and wife of papa) last October 31 and we just attended Mass for her at the Church, and ate dinner with family.

November 1 was tiring. As usual, we went to Laloma cemetery and visited our departed ones. My tito said Mass at the mausoleum and some relatives dropped by to light a candle for Nanay, Ate (great grandmother), and Lolo Joaquin. There was a festive mood, in a manner of speaking during that occasion. Foods were prepared and given to every visitors we had, and some socializing tasks we had to endure. I wonder why we always have to visit on the day were there were a lot of people who would crowd at the entrance of the cemetery. But of course, that has always been the reason, for us to welcome those who would visit the mausoleum and for us to visit the graves of their relatives too.

Exercise on the other hand, has been fulfilled only once. When I was invited by my friend priest to play badminton with them. I did some jogging first like we used to do in Karate, and then some drills. When it was the time for me to play it, I felt so exhausted. Not by playing it per se, but in picking the shuttle cock a number of times. I really suck in that game. My racket would swish upward an inch where the shuttlecock would fall. So i just decided to play hoops instead.

Anyway, back to family matters. I was also able to visit my paternal grandparents in Cainta with Mom. Spent time with them for a while then left. We went to St. Clare monastery in Katipunan to pray. Then went to Greenhills to look for stuffs and Mom bought me a nice blouse too.

Last night, I was bothered with things that I found out. I don't like hearing these things. I feel helpless and doesnt know how to empathized with Mom. I'm not good in giving advice. And I just dont know what could be a good solution for that. I just pray that God would sort these things out, and He would lend us strength to face it especially Mom.

photo shoot

2006-09-02T22:12:00.000+08:00

It was my tito's (Fr. Erick Santos) birthday last August 20. It's just the usual birthday mass and program for him afterwards. Some of his friends were there, and they gave him gifts, lots of it. I was able to come up with a great idea only after his bday.

I thought it would be great if we could give him the updated picture of us, his nieces, nephews, cousin, and yeah grandson na rin.We were able to do it only the day after his bday, good thing it was a holiday, Ninoy Aquino's death anniversary.

The original children of the house are: Me a.k.a Kae (panganay), Alee (actually his cousin), ER, Kim (my brother), and Joy. The next batch are: Geri, Tintin, Alj, and Matthew (the grandson: ER's son).

L-R: (standing) Kim,Joy,Alee, ER (at the back), and Kae
(sitting) Matthew, Alj, Tintin, and Geri.

I hope he liked it. I like how i was able to come up with that idea. kikay tlaga noh?

Thank God it's Monday

2006-08-28T19:36:00.000+08:00

Today is such a wonderful day! I was able to pass my paper on time. I finished doing it at 1am together with Ham, who patiently waited for me even if he’s two hours advance in Sydney. I know he was sleepy na that time (3am), but still he waited for me.. thanks ham.

Oh, and I received a letter from him just now. No, not just the usual email but rather a snail mail. Yep, I did tell him once, on chat, that I want to receive a card via the snail mail, I didn’t know he’s serious bout it though. Oh.. I really love my Ham. I miss u all the more.

Look how gorgeous the card is….

Busy weekend

2006-07-24T21:23:00.000+08:00

I was glad that the week was over. Since Friday after my exam at 7pm, i was rushing from one place to another.

Saturday morning, the same thing. I woke up and bathe in a rush to accompany my mom in a wedding then back home to supervise my kid cousin and our kiddie friends in baking a "Yummy banana bread" and cleaning after them.
At least after the wedding, I had the chance to hold the flowers and walk on the red carpet... just daydreaming.
Cute nila noh? and in fairness, sarap ng banana bread!

It exhausted my energy that after the mass, while still on the meeting I just dozed off. Sunday was a bit lethargic, just visited the relic of St. Therese at Sto. Nino de Tondo and went to the mall with Mom to print all the pictures in my 3 memory sticks. It took me 792 pesos to print all 132 pictures. And finally, at night time, I had the chance to talk with Ham who was away during the weekend to visit his friend and cousin. I am glad that we were able to settle the problem and did some compromising.

Monday, I'm glad that the government announced there'll be no classes today due to a storm. I was supposed to be in the Philippine Orthopedic Center for our duty this week, instead I stayed home and sleep and read Sandman. It in a way, recharged my depleting energy. I wish for more though...

stupid love?

2006-07-15T12:39:00.000+08:00

I hate it when both of you do that. I'm fully aware of how you feel for each other, and it just confuses me more to see you like that. Make your own decision, he already made his own. Dón't worry too much on your image, you did a good job in building it. People won't judge you, just don't let her hope for nothing.

Samu't sari

2006-07-03T22:08:00.000+08:00

plain busy with nursing...

I finally experienced handling patients. I did vital signs taking (the basic), bed bath for my post-op patient with some nursing intervention on her distended abdomen, and perineal care to a medical patient. It was fun really!

This week is more of lectures and ill be in school the whole day. Tiring...

Anyway, that's just the way it is.

=============

Last weekend though, we went to Laguna and Tagaytay to locate a good place for a teambuilding. We didnt find one that will suit our budget and needs. However, we were able to bond with our new found friends. Our grandparents were friends back then, got separated thru time, and now rekindling the lost time through us children.

(L-R) Ar-jee (my crush), Eunice (14 y/o cutie), and Joy (my dear cousin)

Gay love

===================

Oh btw, during that time, Pacquiao had a bout with Oscar Larios at the Araneta Coliseum, I think. ANyway it just brings back a very sweet memory, for I had watched Manny's game last January with a very special person.

===================

Also, Happy First Anniversary to my brother Kim and his gf Karisse! NAks! It's Kim's first time to have a long and serious relationship. I'm happy for them. ^__^

I miss my ham

2006-06-18T03:02:00.000+08:00

Everytime an ericsson fone rings, I think of you.

Everytime someone mentions ham, I think of you.

Everytime Baboy oinks "I-LOVE-YOU", I think of you.

Everytime I enter my room, I think of you.

Everytime my heart beats... E-lubb-dubb-E... I know my heart beats for you.

All new

2006-06-08T19:25:00.000+08:00

It's always gratifying to reward oneself after a good work out.

Like last night, I had my 20-minute cardio on the treadmill and a 5-minute cycling. After which, I just contented myself with lounging on the locker room before I went to steam room. I know that it's not much but considering the time, 7pm, it is the worst time to be in the gym. The equipment I want to use wasn't available, the group exercise wasn't appealing either, my favorite locker was occupied, and my best friend Mai was doing some overtime work with her boss.

Good thing, Mai invited me for a coffee...or rather frap after her work and after my "work out". I wasnt prepared for it and i only had 200 bucks in my pocket, hehe. Mai bought a chocolate cake for me and and an oreo cheesecake for her. Really nice... She went home with me. Thank you Mai!

Finally she saw my newly painted "room", my new notebook, and my new brother.^____^

I had a nice time with her. I hope we could do it again with Grace.

Chess at Lucena

2006-06-05T03:28:00.000+08:00

I accepted the invitation of my bestfriend in college, ai, to accompany her in Lucena, Quezon for the Open Chess Tournament. It was the only time I got to see her play, and she's good ha, eventhough she just came from her 11-5 shift. She only got to sleep during the bus ride since the tournament started at 11.

I am not a chess player so eventhough I was there, I can't analize her chess moves. During the middle part of every game she had (total of 7 rounds), I would be strolling the mall, or playing hoops and race car at Quantum and Worlds of Fun. One time, I scored 67 pts that's why I had the bonus round. The bonus round was bad, I only got 24 pts since my right arm cramped.And there was the time when Ai finished early, in-between the rounds, so we had a time to sing at the Videoke booth.

They all won in the tournament, and Ai bagged the Top Lady Performer Award. They all got money as a price. They decided to celebrate it in Nawawalang Paraiso Resort. We spent the next day attending the mass, buying ingredients for our meal and for some pasalubong, cooking the food, swimming, and playing billiards.

(L-R) Collin, Kuya J?, Aileen, and Coach

We stayed at Coach Randy's house with his parents for two nights. We were thankful that they warmly welcomed us and we had lots of food to eat since collin (other chess player) cooked so well. There's also this one guy which I forgot the name but he also played in the tournament, he assigned himself to be the dishwasher for that trip. Cool, I didn't do anything. ^___^

Ok.. 44% now..

animated Coraline

2006-06-05T03:14:00.000+08:00

Last year when Neil Gaiman was here, I chose 2 books for him to sign. One is the Sandman 10: Endless nights and the other one is Coraline. I gave the signed Coraline to my favorite cousin Geri, hoping she'll fancy the works of Gaiman too. But alas, she's too occupied with her Archie comics, Kzone mags, or Disney channel shows to even bother reading it. Anyway, I guess i can't force a 10-year old girl into reading what I like.

Then, I read Gaiman's journal. They're actually working an animated movie for Coraline, to be voiced by Dakota Fanning as Coraline and Teri Hatcher as the Mother and the Other Mother. Yey, I'll watch that with Geri. Let's see if she won't still be interested after watching it.^___^

Taken from www.neilgaiman.com/journal

Keeping myself awake

2006-06-05T03:01:00.000+08:00

It's 3 in the morning and im still here in front of the PC typing this blog, trying not to fall asleep for I finally had the slot to DL from megaupload. I've started around 230, and it's only 19% finished atm. How long will I stay up awake? I dunno.

But i need to this before classes start again, which will be next week. On the 13th, we'll have the Revalida and almost everyday will be like hellday, unending lessons and exams once again.

Boy, ive got lots of stuff to do as planned such as: clean the room, finish Stardust, work out everyday, accompany Pa for a check up, visit clients, watch movies, Powerbooks day at greenbelt, and organize pictures (for i haven't printed yet my copy of the BORA pix).

24%.....

daily horoscope

2006-06-02T10:10:00.000+08:00

Here's my horoscope for today courtesy of friendster:

A chance to get closer to your goal will require you to put in a public appearance.

uMM... it's quite funny actually.

Tonight, my cousin and I were invited to dance and sing in front of the Community, so the "will require you to put in a public appearance" part coincides with that.

However, the part "A chance to get closer to your goal"... duh! The reason why we're going to be in front is definitely NOT OUR goal.. but to the people involved in managing the choir.

They're hoping that this certain woman would "go down" or to leave the choir since she committed a lot of hmm.. violations which she profusely denied. According to them this woman wants the attention of everybody in the choir and she feels superior with everybody in the group. That irks the leaders and they somehow use us to achieve this scheme. Savoring me and my cousin too much attention and giving us important part in the group which the woman solely had before we came.

Haaay... it saddens me, to be used in a situation like this. But im giving myself time to know more of the community, to see its other sides.

Hmm.. I wonder what will be in store for me tomorrow...

Free download

2006-05-31T20:28:00.000+08:00

Waaa! I can't download the Sandman files from Megaupload. It always says that the 100 slot available for the Philippines are currently in use. As for the Badjojo file, I only got one volume from it.

Ham learned about the sites when he was talking with his friend. Buti na lang he's also interested with The Sandman. But I can't chat with Ham at the moment because he's watching XMEN3 with Cameron... Haay...

Helf! anyone... pls helf me.... *o*

The right turn

2006-05-25T15:17:00.000+08:00

I went out last night, just so I could refocus my mind. Tomorrow will be the last examination for our summer classes, and I had a hard time concentrating on the scientific names of parasites. I decided to go back to where I used to study during my college days... in the South Conservatory, to get some inspiration. It was getting pretty late but it's fine with me. I always feel safe when I'm inside my former school, and besides my house is just 10 LRT stations away, I could be home in 30minutes.

Since there were some students lingering in the conservatory, either studying or chatting quietly with their friends, I can't help but reminisce those good old days. I remember myself and my thesis groupmates discussing our theory regarding the grass roots organization in Ireland, or that when I sat there either studying or just day dreaming, and realizing that I really had fun back in College.

I can't help but compare my situation now. A question curiously popped in my mind, "Am I doing this right?"... My batchmates are either abroad doing the job they've studied or those who stayed here but shifted to another field. Nevertheless, they are still working, while I am here studying again. I am retraining myself for a different field, hoping that someday I will gain more experience and more opportunity to improve myself.

Thankfully this article provided the answer to my question. It's a bit long, so I won't post it here nor restate it for fear of losing its essence. ^___^ But it really made me feel better, knowing that I'm not alone in my struggle. Try reading it! ^__^

Going Back

2006-05-16T00:27:00.000+08:00

I have been an active member of a religious organization during my younger years. I served as a lector during mass, and a member of the Legion Of Mary. I attended mass religously and confessed my sins almost weekly. I was a practicing Catholic.

Things changed when my Lola, our great influence to being conservative and religous, died. My usual active participation dwindled as I became busy with school and extra curricular activities.

I know that God is there and He still loves me.

But I'm not doing anything.

Ideas came pouring on me, like the first rainfall during summer, and with it came the spiritual questions that tries to seek some answer, explanation, and justification. I tried to be the usual good Catholic during my college days, but it's different now.

There's a void now that can't be filled with any material things.

I know that I'm missing my Father...

I know that God is missing me too...

But I'm not doing anything.

Now, I was invited to a Catholic Charismatic Movement. I didn't promised to be all loyal and cooperative for the group, but I did promised to observe and give it a try.

Now i'm doing something, I hope it'll last.

Nudity

2006-04-26T01:19:00.000+08:00

The word itself presents different meaning to various people. I guess it could be the background or the popular media itself that made it a touchy topic or scene for some. I, for one was raised in a “conservative” family. I didn’t regret it though, but somehow my perception changed as I aged. I don’t know if it’s bad for me to like it (based on theology), but I like it.

I initially stumble with Nudity As an Art as I was searching for photographs in livejournal years ago. It really was an art and not just the usual porn, as it’s the usual case when the word pops out from someone’s mouth. I found out that a body is really unique and presents beauty in itself, especially those of woman’s. I like how the photographers come up with unique ideas on how to present and enhance what women possess. That of course originated from Western countries, and no matter how our country develops, our being conservatives ( being a Pinoy) still prevail.

One example of that was when my Mom, her friends, and I went to a Spa. That particular spa is popular with other Asians. They dragged me there because they want to show me how those foreigners walk barenaked in the locker room, in the common shower room, in the Jacuzzi, Sauna, and Steam room. It’s big deal for them. It’s probably the teachings during their era. Anyway, they don’t have a choice but to strip as well, oh except for the disposable undies they bought there since they can’t afford to see each other’s southern part. Later on, they get the hang of it.

That notion didn’t actually prevail me that easily. Of course, I too got embarrassed if anyone could see my body other than my mom. But as I got addicted to a massage, I realized that I shouldn’t be ashamed of it, the light in the room was dim, the masseuse is a girl and isn’t interested on my body, lastly, it just feels great.

Another Nude haven would be the locker room in the gym. I’m not being maniac or anything, but it just feels good seeing girls celebrating nudity no matter how their body looks. Mai and I would stay in the steam room or sauna after a vigorous work out and women would sometimes come in wearing nothing. We on the other hand, would be a bit conservative, so we wear something. ^____^

People should try nudity even if it’s just in the confines of their house. Wear just boxers or undies as a starter while watching TV or washing dishes. If you’re more comfortable with it, go naked. Just be sure you’re safe and free from the prying eyes of your neighbors. It’s liberating…I guess…^___^

Spot the difference

2006-04-26T00:24:00.000+08:00

---------year 2005-----------

---------year 1999 or 2000-------------

* I'm wearing the same sandals...^___^

Bookworm just a bit

2006-04-26T00:17:00.000+08:00

A friend of mine wants to borrow any book from my collection. I haven’t paid any attention to what I got over the years, so it was a good chance to “visit my old friends again. I don’t have lots of books but it consists mostly of fantasy and science fiction, I wonder why.

I got interested with books during my grade school years, the time when my Dad would prefer to keep us inside the house than to play taguan pung, patintero, shake shake, Pepsi 7up, or Langit lupa with other kids. He would bring me hardbound books, from The Elves and the Shoemaker, Aladdin, Sleeping Beauty, etc. I found that reading books could actually pass the time and keep me company. Then I shifted to Sweet Valley Kids, Twins, and High.

Nanay (my grandmother) saw what kind of books I was reading when she tried reading it, and since it has some kissing scene, I guess that what urged her to introduce Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew to my interests. I did in fact like it. We usually hang around Goodwill bookstore in Carriedo to buy bargain Hardy boys and Nancy Drew which only costs around 5-20 pesos. Cool, isn’t it?

That phase continued until high school years. Then when I got in College, I read other genres from the influence of my one of my best friends, April. Because of her I had a crush with Harry Potter even before it got popular. I got interested with animes, Jrock, and most especially Neil Gaiman. I fancy award winning novels and graphic designs.

Aside from her, the one who influenced me into reading what I have now in my collection is none other than my boyfriend. Our relationship even started from a book, one of Sidney Sheldon’s. From then on, I got curious with him and his interests---books. I then started reading Terry Goodkind’s Sword of Truth series and now I’m finishing David Edding’s.

My old book collection is now in my cousin Geri’s possession. What’s left are the Scifi and Fantasy books and graphic novels. Hopefully I could acquire more diverse books. I realized that any interests could really start from somewhere or with someone. I’m glad that mine started at home, and hopefully I could pass it on to my future kids *daydreaming*.

Relearning

2006-04-19T01:08:00.000+08:00

I had to wake up early at six in the morning, just to make a decision-- to transfer or not. The schedule and sectioning for the summer classes was posted yesterday, as it turned out, only 3 of us among our group of friends who got the Thursday to Saturday class. I felt bad about it and I got scared like a school girl on her first day in school. My friend told me that I could transfer in their section if I could present to the registrar a reasonable excuse to shift my sched, which I could provide since I do have a job.

Then this morning, still feeling sore from the work out the other day, and too sleepy to go out that morning, had to reconsider my reasons for transferring.

I thought of all the things I might miss because I was separated from my friends. The one hour lunch break that we could get to talk and share jokes, the group works, the complaints, and the sabay-sabay na uwi and my music video project. That’s the honest reason that urged me to transfer.

As for the one I conjured, it would be the unknown prowess of my would-be CIs and the crazy workload that might be assigned to us. In addition to the list, I have two appointments for Thursdays which was too minor if you would consider it.

Anyway, the loneliness I felt reminded me of the time before my graduation in College. Dad asked me how I was feeling before my big event and I plaintively said I’m sad. I graduated ahead of my friends and that made me blue and lonesome not being with them during the ceremony. Dad got angry with me because of that. He said that I should learn and be used to being alone. From then on, it became a challenge to me. I tried being brave. From going to the mall, applying for jobs, studying for MA, or going to Bora alone!

Funny how a simple arrangement like this could tick my nerves. I guess I just have to relearn how to do it again.

Getting fit with Tuna

2006-04-10T13:35:00.000+08:00

What better way to spend lunch than tasting my home cooked tuna spaghetti. ehem. ehem...

Maybe it's the heat, or probably the absence of doing something productive that urged me to repeat what I cooked for Ham when we were in Bora... My version of tuna spaghetti!

I first tasted it at Ate Kat's condo in Taft. That was the time when we were practicing for the National Tournament in Baguio, and along with that we had to lose weight by controlling the food we eat. I first tried the low carbs diet but it doesn't work well since I became weak during the training. Ate Kat then said to reverse my diet. Instead of eating only protein-rich food, I Shifted to carbo loaded food but still in minimal servings. That's when she introduced the tuna spaghetti. We used the "Chunks in water" to really serve it's purpose.

Now, I cook it for the sole purpose of preparing something that's healthy and delicious for my love ones. I am not a girl who's really adept to doing domesticated chores, but I'm trying. And i think Im doing quite well with it.

Showbiz Talk

2006-04-09T20:55:00.000+08:00

I watched The Buzz today from start to finish since I was intrigued with Kris’ wedding. Yes, I like her because she’s an example of how women though smart and successful they are, are still vulnerable in the matters of the heart. But no matter how many times she had fallen, she still continues to stand up and make things right.

In the show, James and Kris finally declared that they were married since last July. Their relationship is not something that everybody approves of. Kris is older by 11 years, and it’s not a secret that her family is not that approved with her husband. Though this is the case, she still trusted her heart and still goes on with it. She cried when she talked about how she wanted for her son to have a more solid future since her son has special needs. It’s good to know that she’s so devoted to being a mom and still manages to become successful with her career. I just wish that their relationship now would become strong and would really last.

Another showbiz chika, is about the upcoming wedding of my tito’s friend who’s an actress and comedian too. She wanted him to be the officiating priest. Haay.. pulos wedding nalang…

I think it’s only natural for us girls to dream about it, especially those who are in ready for it. I know I'm not yet ready so, I’m not picturing every detail of my own wedding. After all, there’s a lot to think of before I get to that point. Career. Family. My future groom. I hope that God would help me be the Right person for that Right person.

For all those who are getting married... I wish you all the best!

Summer heat

2006-04-06T18:46:00.000+08:00

The heat is overwhelming; it’s so hard to just ignore it. If I turn on the AC, it would be open till night while we’re using the telly, the PC, and other appliance as well. The electric bills would skyrocket once again and my mom would complain bout it. So ok.. no choice.. ill just take off my clothes… duh…(ewww!)

Anyway, there’s not much to do but to surf the net for porn (kidding!)… I mean for interesting stories and blogs, check my emails, and read my friends updated profiles in friendster (Tsk tsk tsk.. pathetic little creature) if Ham isn’t online.

Like now, he’s having his small birthday party with his friends, so I’m left with nothing to do but write another gibberish in my blog.

Ham’s birthday was last Monday, April 3. We had dinner together… online, using Skype. He cooked spaghetti and bought a blueberry muffin while I bought McDo spaghetti and a brownie to go with that. It’s something that I consider sweet and very romantic, because though he’s 2 hours ahead of our time, we still found a way to celebrate a special moment in his life.

Today, he received the gift I sent him. Sayang lang, hindi tinanggap yung pirated pc games na binili ko ksama nun. As I surmised, he was surprised to see the gift. I don’t know if he was disappointed with it. Wag naman sana. ^___^

This morning, my friends and I enrolled for the summer classes which will start on the 17th. I might say that it’s a bit organized now. I hope they’ll improve their system more for the June enrollment. Since, we finished early for lunch we drove to another branch of SM… in Manila (not in San Lazaro this time). We’re 6 in the group; Jaivy, as usual the only guy in our group is our handsome driver (ehem ehem… libre naman dyan); Melai, our muse and a very special girl for jebs but can’t-be-courted-now-that-she’s-committed-to-greggy-boy; the two South girls Elaine or empot as I call her, the songbird and the Daddy’s little girl/ Cinderella and Bethel who’s big appetite doesn’t matter in her slender buddy; MJ, the love interest of spidey and the girl-who-pays-for-expensive-meals-only-to-eat-1/8-of-it; and of course, yours truly, who likes to eat a lot and is suffering the consequence of it.

I’m proposing a sort of MTVish project to them, just a fun way to spend summer classes, ayt? I’m excited to work on it, though I don’t have any background with video editing (Ai, help!). Firstly we need to come up with a concept, a theme to work on and the song as a background. I’m really serious about it. I want it done by the end of the summer.

Ok, enough now, need to eat first.

Sx w/o Dx

2006-03-30T10:29:00.001+08:00

Just as I thought, I didn’t have a great sleep last night. I suffered a temporary insomnia and an orthopnea. I forced myself to sleep after CSI: Miami but my body and mind just won’t give in and my breathing wasn’t good as well. I was in the brink of panic when I realized that I really should calm myself because this was one of the situation I learned in HC and NCM. I tried the pursed-lip technique. Inhaling from my nose and exhaling through pursed lips slowly. It was helpful, not only did it calm and control my breathing but it also quite lulls me to sleep. I stayed on semi-fowler’s position while I watched an old movie in CinemaOne and reflecting on the things that have happened that night until I slipped in a deep slumber…finally.

Bad night

2006-03-29T22:46:00.000+08:00

I think it would be awfully hard to sleep tonight. Mom’s not here and I think Ham is mad at me. Aaargh!

happy list

2006-03-18T20:35:00.000+08:00

See i was right... I should just keep my mouth shut if i am pissed off..
1. The door was locked even if i left an instruction not to.

2. I am always "on call" even if im tired, hungry, or mad. I have no right to decline. I need to be patient.

3. I hate parasites!

because there are more interesting and happy thoughts to think about like...

1. Talking to him over the phone while he's dining out with his friends.

2. Old friends updating me with their life.

3. Good news such as graduation of my 2 doc friends.

4. Former-boss-turned-friend-with-her-gf meeting on April before they go to Aussie for good.

5. Thinking of appropriate birthday gift for Ham, coz im running out of time.

6. School days will soon be over.

7. Thinking of ways on how to lose inches from my waist without the hassle of dieting.

8. Thinking of good places to visit this summer without spending so much money (im thinking bout Bangkok, Singapore, or HK...LOL!)

9. .....

10. ......

There, mas marami yung happy thoughts di ba? Ayan, I feel good na. ^____^

Free fish

2006-03-18T10:43:00.000+08:00

Would the animal advocates hate me if I want to kill one of my aquarium fishes? I don’t like the way the Tilapia kills my other fishes, or maybe I don’t like to see them suffer. It strikes them fast and hard leaving them with short and torn tail and incomplete scales. Though I don’t like my goldfish that much, still I was offended when it was killed yesterday along with the other 2 black bulging-eye-fish. There’s four more of them left, the goldfish, the tilapia look-alike but with some orange & edema on its face, the tilapia, and the janitor fish. We’re actually waiting for it all to die, (how cruel noh?) because Kim and I wanted small fishes instead. How about if we trade it in with our fishes in a pet shop? Pwede kaya yun?

Sing me a song

2006-03-16T00:03:00.000+08:00

Somehow this song became meaningful in my life...

Stephen Speaks
Passenger Seat

I look at her and have to smile
As we go driving for a while
Looking nowhere in the open window of my car
And as we go the traffic lights
Watch them glimmer in her eyes
In the darkness of the evening

And I've got all that I need
Right here in the passenger seat
Oh and I can't keep my eyes on the road
Knowing that she's inches from me

We stop to get something to drink
My mind pounds and I can't think
Scared to death to say i love her
Then a moon peeks from the clouds
Hear my heart that beats so loud
Try to tell her simply

That I've got all the I need
Right here in the passenger seat
Oh and I can't keep my eyes on the road
Knowing that she's inches from me

Oh and I've got all the I need
Right here in the passenger seat
Oh and I can't keep my eyes on the road
Knowing that she's inches from me

Oh and I know this love grow

However, whether it'd be Barney, Chopsuey, Linkin Park, or Sinatra's, im sure it would still be appreciated...

Good Omens

2006-03-13T23:43:00.000+08:00

I've been looking for a copy of this book...

*picture from amazon.com

for a month. "Out of stock" sabi sa Powerbooks, sa Different Bookstore, or even sa Natio.

Thanks to Hamkin... who searched 2 bookstores for this and sent it back home thru Hans. Mwah! Salamat salamat hamkin for the book and I'll take care of it. *wink*

Make it a frap!

2006-03-13T22:56:00.000+08:00

Ham once said that I've got an explosive personality. You'll never know when i'll suddenly explode when under pressure. It is through him, through the experiences that test my patience, and all those involved (family and friends *ehem* sensya na jebs), that taught me on how to handle it graciously. I am still learning though, and i'm trying to fight the urge to unleash my stinging fury.

I realized that it is not an excuse to snap on anyone just because I have a problem like the ones in telenovela. Anyway, this forwarded email came from my tita in Germany, and it's something worth reading... and hopefully i could be like the coffee.^__^

An Analogy - A carrot, an egg and a cup of coffee...

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as though just as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil.

In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."

Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did, and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it.

After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its

inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

Which are you?" she asked her daughter.

"When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, ... but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity?

Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past

failures and heartaches.

Sacerdotal Anniversary

2006-03-07T00:53:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was my priest uncle's Sacerdotal anniversary. He's already 19 years as a priest. We had mass and the usual kainan afterwards. Happy Anniversary Ninong!

Men and women in orange

2006-03-07T00:00:00.000+08:00

I wanted to post something regarding our experience with the F***** (im not cursing, that's the initial of that company) last sunday,who tried to lure us to buy a 33k water purifier made in korea, but im sleepy na... pero sige na nga.

We just finished buying groceries in Robinson's Tutuban. Sabi ni Mommy sa Prime Block na lang kami dumaan papuntang sakayan ng MCU. Nang nasa bridge na kami from the Tutuban Mall ay maraming taong naka black pants and orange polo with blazer ang nasa daan at nangungumbinseng magpa "free" massage. Si mommy ang nasa unahan ko, and since mahilig talaga yun magpamasahe, pumayag kaagad. Nagulat na lang ako nang pumapasok na sya sa loob. Yung store ay nasa tapat lang ng David's salon sa prime block. Dinala kami sa loob at pinaupo siya sa massage chair, ako naman ay sinuotan ng parang pang wrestling na belt at itoy pinaaandar. Pang-relax ung kay mommy, yung sa akin pang pa-slim daw. Habang ginagawa nila ito ay tina-try nilang mahuli ang loob ko, dahil masyadong mabait ang mommy ko at madaling ma-please.

According to them, their company only started in 2003? I'm not sure with the date but they're fairly new daw. According to them, they have branches in Harrison and even Podium, and their reason for letting us give that service is just to be given a chance to introduce their product which consists of a massage chair that costs 89,000Php, a vacuum cleaner (19,000), microwave (20,000+), purifier (32,900), etc. Most of the appliance are made in korea and japan with hi-tech capabilities daw.

After introducing the products they (around 5 of them) let my mom pick a prize, and when they opened the paper... they all shouted and congratulated us. I was baffled, because in a business setting, they shouldn't act like that. They were literally shouting making me all the more doubtful and suspicious but im still waiting for their ultimate goal.

According to them, my mom is so lucky coz she picked a free microwave, the one that costs 20+k, without even buying anything (haller?!!, kung sa groceries nga na may binili ka, ang kuripot pa ng pick-a-prize promo nila eh, yun pang ala ka binili). Somebody went in, picked the prize and was shouting again and congratulating us that the manager was so kind enough to have given us a more expensive gift which is the air cooler.

They were all talking all at the same time. Someone would talk to mom and someone would talk to me. Basta ang gulo nila tlaga, nakakairita.

Eto na, biglang naghahanap na sila ng credit card and ID. Nag-intervene na ako. Sabi ko: "Bakit? Akala ko ba free gift yan, bkit may babayaran?". Tapos sinasabi nila bigla na kung may bilhin daw kaming isang appliance dun 2 appliance ang kasama dahil nga daw "nanalo" si mommy and "swerte" daw siya. Pero pinapakita ko na tlaga na iritable na ako at di ko gusto ang nangyayari dahil obvious naman na yung 3 appliance na yun ay mahigit 33k at may tubo pa sila.

PUtik talaga, di ko na kaya yung situation ng ako lang. "I need back up", I told myself. That's the time that I called Ate Mi or Kim to persuade Mom not to fall for that scheme. Thank God, she listened to them. Gusto niya daw talaga yung mga appliance eh, and she'll be the one to pay for it naman daw. Still it's not worth it.. and I really hate schemes like that.

Pero buti na lang ok na. Kaya kung mapapadaan kayo sa prime block at di maiiwasang dumaan sa part ng david's salon, ingat kayo sa mga taong naka orange na nagtra-trabaho sa Fili**, yun na PO.

Party for Ham

2006-03-05T20:02:00.000+08:00

I got a mail from Ai, my bestfriend in College. I'm glad she had the time to email me Rod's despedida pictures. Thanks ai, mwah!

(L-R)Kae, Rody, Paul, Ai, Sir Cesar, and Bri

Sir Cesar was right, I think all of us have changed since our training days in Karate. All of us were "payatot" that time, plus with all the changes in haircut and physique. Now, I've got longer hair and pimples, Ai have braces and glasses, Paul sports a new haircut (he's definitely more macho now), Bri with his toned muscles makes him more pogi, Sir Cesar still the same (gwapo pa rin and may gf na haha), and Rody according to Sir doesn't change (I wonder if it's a complement or what, what do you think Ham?hehe). I think it's a complement. Mwah!

That group was taken by Owee, and it's for the Annual ata. Anyway, Ai and Rody weren't there I don't know why. Sir Cesar has a solo pic eh kaya wala sya dyan. Cute namin, har-har-har-de-har

Sunday baking

2006-03-05T20:01:00.000+08:00

Last Sunday and today, Ate Mi, Geri, and I tried baking. Last Sunday was macaroons. It was our first time to do it together, and with the presence of distractions everywhere and lack of organized preparation, our macaroons didn’t turn out right.

Today we decided to use all the left over ingredients from last week by baking butter cookies. I’m not fond of plain cookies especially butter flavors, but I was amazed when we tasted the cookies. Yep! It was great. I’m glad it turned out right.

We’re planning to do it every Sunday so that our cooking and baking skills would improve, and hopefully by the end of the year, I could finally bake and cook for my love ones… especially Hamkin.

Next week, we’ll try baked macaroni… hmm… yummy!

If ever someone would read this, and knows a great recipe *for beginners, I would really appreciate if you would share it. ^___^

Ciao!

10 ways

2006-03-03T00:12:00.000+08:00

My 10 ways to relieve stress

10. Work-out sa fitness. 30min na cardio, arm and thigh exercise.

9. Sauna after work out.

8. 1 hr. massage kahit saang massage parlor.

7. Guilty pleasure with choco, ice cream, coffe jelly, or mocha frap.

6. Shopping for purontong and cute tee.

5. Meet up with HS and College best friends.

4. Time for myself. Read a really good book. Neil Gaiman or any international best seller book.

3. Harutan with my family; with Kim, Mommy, Ate Mi, Geri, Alj, Achu, and Papa.

2. Chat with Ham, my boyfriend, best friend, and lover all rolled into one. Just watching his video, playing his piano piece makes my heart beat fast and slow at the same time.

1. Commune with God. He knows everything, and i cannot deny it.

stress sa buhay

2006-03-03T00:08:00.000+08:00

Masama ang simula ng araw ko.
Wala kaming tubig sa bahay dahil ninakaw ang kuntador ng tubig namin.
Kulang ang tulog ko dahil kinailangan pa naming hulihin ang mickey mouse.
Gusto ko ng lumipat ng bahay, pero saan?

May defense pa kami at mga unit exams na kelangang paghandaan.
Hindi nga kami ang nauna sa defense pero syempre may kaba.
Alam kong di ako makakakuha ng impormasyon
ukol sa pwedeng itanong,
kaya’t kelangng paghandaan.
Anong magagawa ko, yun ang dapat?

Ang taba ng mukha ko, ng braso at pigi ko.
Ang dami kong pimples.
Ang dry na ng hair ko.
Anong dapat kong gawin?

Ang dami kong pinoproblema.
Ang dami kong pinagsasayangan ng panahon.
Munting bagay na wala naming halaga sa totoong kahulugan ng buhay.

Buti na lang nabasa ko ang email ng isang kaibigan na kahit forwarded lang ay nakatulong sa akin upang kumalma ang aking nararamdaman.
Sabi sa email…

O, bakit ka na naman na-i-istress? Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed?
Meron ka bang deadline na i-bi-beat ngayong araw na ito?
It's important to understand stress before we can effectively manage it
kaya Stress ang pag-uusapan natin ngayon.
Ayon sa mga scientists mayroong dalawang uri ng stress.
Eustress and Distress.
Eustress is positive stress. Ito ang nararamdaman ng isang dalaga
kapag dumarating na ang kanyang manliligaw at may daladalang flowers.
Eustress din ang tawag sa stress na nararanasan ng mga nagwo- work-out
when they are doing their exercises.
Ang mga athletes, pagkatapos na ma-stress ang kanilang muscles,
they rest para ma-repair ang kanilang muscles.
Kapag hindi sila nagpahinga, the stressed muscles will be injured.
When injury happens, yan ang distress.
Distress is the negative side of stress.
Nakakaramdam ka na ng sakit ng ulo, pagsakit ng tiyan,
hindi na makatulog, di pa makakain.
Distress ang uri ng stress na nagreresulta sa kung ano-anong sakit
tulad ng hypertension, minsan nga ay emotional breakdown pa.
Ano ba ang pwede nating gawin para ang stress natin ay hindi maging distress? Famous author and inspirational speaker,
Dr. John Maxwell has the following suggestions:
Don't be overly sensitive to criticism.
Tanggapin na natin ang katotohanang hindi natin kayang i-please ang lahat ng tao.
Talagang mayroong hindi aayon sa iyo kahit na napaka-noble
ng iyong mga intentions and motives.
So when you receive criticisms, take it constructively kung sensible ang criticism.
If you think the criticism is not objective, huwag na lang pansinin at ng hindi ka ma-distress.
Don't take too much pride in your achievements.
Ang pride ay parang uling, ginagatungan niyan ang distress.
Ang taong proud ay mas lalong nadi-distress dahil masyado niyang iniingatan
ang kanyang achievement at accomplishment.
Minsan nga our achievements hinder us from growing and learning
kasi sinasabi natin sa ating sarili, aba may na-accomplish na ko.
Mas mahusay ako kaysa sa iba, hindi na nila ko pwedeng turuan.
Ang lungkot ng buhay kapag naging ganyan ang attitude natin.
Don't harbor jealousy over the achievement of others.
Ang taong mainggitin madalas ding madistress,
kasi nga totoo namang mayroong mas higit kaysa sa atin.
Natural ang iba ay maaaring magkaroon ng achievements na wala tayo di ba.
Instead of being jealous or envious,
let's learn to rejoice in the successes of others.
Malay mo malibre ka pa bogchi dahil nakikigalak ka sa kanilang tagumpay, di ba?
Don't focus on your weaknesses and inadequacies.
Ang sugat kapag mas lalo mong ginalaw mas lalong lalala at baka maimpeksyon.
The more you focus on your weaknesses and inadequacies
the bigger the tendency of wallowing in self-pity.
While it is important to acknowledge your inadequacies,
it is helpful to focus on your strengths and capabilities.
One effective way of fighting distress is by counting our blessings - the good things which life brings.
When we have grateful hearts,
we will always be reminded that we are too blessed to be stressed!
Someone wrote that
"The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your knees and the floor.
The one who kneels to the Lord can stand up to anything."

May mga bagay kasi na hindi na dapat pinagtutuunan ng sobrang panahon.
Ienjoy ang buhay!
Magpasalamat sa Panginoon!
Minsan mukhang mababaw lang, pero hindi.

Pero manalig ka.
Dahil kahit may mga pagsubok, kahit may mas malalim pa na problema,
Ito ang kanyang paraan para ituro sa’yo na kakayanin mo ito.
At nariyan siya upang ihulma ka sa dapat na maging ikaw ayon sa kanyang Plano.

Happy Heart's Day

2006-02-14T23:54:00.000+08:00

Can you remember your first kiss with someone you really love? How was it?

Today, to celebrate the heart’s day, I would like to ask you (yes… you), as to how you remember that special moment.

I had my first kiss with my love on our way home after we watched the movie Star Wars (I forgot which part). I was trying to teach him the “nosey-nosey”, a game played to young kids, wherein you would touch your partner’s nose with the tip of your nose [it was actually a bait, har-har-har-de-har]. He thought I wanted to kiss him on the lips, and that’s why he kissed me full on my lips. Whoa! I was shocked of course. I didn’t expect that from him. But I was really glad he did (hehe). Different kinds of pyrotechnics were exploding in my head, I felt so light that I even forgot where I was heading... giddy giddy

This is our 2nd Vday as “mag-howe”, and we were celebrating it through chat since then. This time it’s better, because I already got a faster connection and we downloaded skype2 wherein we could talk and have a video conference at the same time. Ok talaga! Cheaper than the call plus the chance to see him pa even if it’s on cam lang.

Before he left, we celebrated our Vdate na, and here’s our participation with the lovapalooza….

Kung Hei Fat Choy?

2006-01-29T22:31:00.000+08:00

Happy chinese New Year to my Chinese friends (as if my friends would read this,hehe)!

My computer broke down, mother board and processor..whew! So it took me quite a while to post here. Ham accompanied me when I bought the parts in gilmore, and while waiting we were able to watch the Manny Pacquiao game that we were supposed to see last sunday.^__^

After which, we meet up with his HS friends and played DOTA. I can't believe I endured 4 hours and a half playing that game.

He was here yesterday and I'm glad he did.

We dropped by in a condo unit and inquired about the place a while ago. It's unusual but a fun thing to do.

Oh boy, community again tomorrow...

Kudos!

2006-01-17T20:00:00.000+08:00

Enough about being drama queen, I've got a juicy story to tell. Another revelation was made, but this time it's a happy/sad one. Finally, a friend of mine poured his heart and decided to tell that he likes my friend--- but he's rather late, awww...

K lang yun jebs, hanga ako sa lakas ng loob mo. I'm sure ikaw naman ang bibigyan ng kapareha ni God... in His time.

Meantime, let's study study study for the upcoming midterm exams!

Unexpected

2006-01-14T09:50:00.000+08:00

Hindi ko alam na ganun ang kinalabasan. Akala ko ako ang nasa tama. Oo, marami akong gustong patunayan kaya pilit akong nagpapanggap na kaya ko, na matapang ako, pero hanggang ngayon wala pa rin akong napapatunayan. Ang tanda tanda ko na pero wala pa ring nangyayari sa buhay ko. TAE... TAE ang buhay ko.

intro to adulthood

2006-01-13T21:53:00.000+08:00

I tried to suppress my indignation, covering it with mirth and cluttered lifestyle. I was hoping it would go to oblivion after waking up in the morning, but I realized that was how I used to be back in college. Always running away from an opportunity to learn something, so I decided to stop, and start growing up.

I got an email today and it suggests something that would test my willingness to make things right. I need to think about it, savor it, coz I wanna do it whole heartedly. *plus I need to confirm on some things first.

While mulling on what I've got, I didn't know that someone close to me is experiencing worries as well and I just learned about it tonight. I didn't know that she was worried sick for she was delayed for a week. She was adviced not to bear another child for it could pose real danger to her and to the baby due to her heart problem. Fortunately, after praying long novenas, she got her period and all her worries disappeared. After which, she thought of having ligation. She is quite hesitant though, for ligation is not accepted to Catholicism. Haay... I'm sure God won't mind having her fallopian tubes tied if it would mean prolonging her life and continuing to be a blessing to all of us.

Still on surgery, Ham is still recuperating from his appendectomy. Just last night he experienced tenderness on the incision and decided to stay at home today. He got well in the morning but had diarrhea at lunch time, and fever in the afternoon. I wish his fever would go down, coz im having 2nd thoughts on letting him go to tagaytay tomorrow.

Shit happens

2006-01-13T00:04:00.000+08:00

I guess we all have our share of misfortunes in this world. I just didn't expect it would be this soon. Anyway, that's ok, I still feel fine. I'm not angry anymore. It's not like we could still turn back time. But one thing's for sure.. I need to get another part time job!

Fortunately, I got Ham to talk about it. And just being with him, relieves me of the situation I am in. Also, I'm glad that Kim and I agreed on things to be done. I believe that everything will turn out right eventually...

Narnia

2006-01-09T09:42:00.000+08:00

Bri, Ham, and I watched Narnia yesterday. First day of showing and what would you expect... lots of people. Fortunately Ham already reserved seats for us even before I got there. Aside from the fact that the seats are really comfy and with my big pillow cuddling me, the movie is really good ^____^. I found myself muttering "cmon fight" to Peter during the battle scene, lol.

Anyway, need to prepare my things now for my classes. Ciao

Money can't buy everything

2006-01-09T09:06:00.000+08:00

Splurging money is a sin especially if you're not rich. Prioritize more important and more sensible things. Or is this just your way of washing away your guilt?

Happy new year? I hope so

2006-01-06T17:46:00.000+08:00

New year new life for me and for my family...

We thought we're ready for it, we're wrong. It hurts so much. My mind tells me It's okay, it's logical, but my heart says otherwise. This year will be hard for us, and I'm glad that my brother is matured and responsible enough for that. I don't know how will I give comfort when the time comes for us to talk about it.

Merry Christmas

2005-12-25T19:13:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Lord! ^______________^

Sorry Lord kung wala akong magandang regalo sayo, ang sarili ko lamang na puno pa ng kasalanan, inis, at insecurities. Lord pasensya ka na ha, kahit na napa-realize nyo sa akin na ako pa ri'y maganda sa paningin niyo, pilit pa ring bumabalik ang mga ito sa puso ko. Hayaan niyo Lord, tina-try ko namang ayusin ang sarili ko eh. Patuloy akong magsisikap na maging kaaya-aya sa paningin niyo. Sana magawa ko ng tama ang iniatang nyong layunin sa akin sa mundong ito.

December gimmicks!

2005-12-25T18:37:00.000+08:00

Boracay

Ham and I

The sandcastle: Cam, Kae, Ham

Subic

Watching the two boys play with tita ching

Freezingly cold

The supposed adventure to zoobic and ocean adventure

Dinner Reunion

Introducing Ham to my family

With my lolo and cousins

Tita Vigie, Tita Ching, Ken, Tita Pen, Mommy, Ham

From left: Eydie, Jed, Ellis, Tita Christie, and Tito Ed

Lolo, to reno, Cheska, Charlene, and Tita Tess

Lola, Nanay, and April

*Some weren't included in the pictures like my brother Kim, Tito Fred, Kairo, and June... Sorry guys hehe.

mabuhay!

2005-11-23T09:26:00.000+08:00

there were two things i've been waiting for a long time. the first one has arrived around 0330H. finally, after 2 months of waiting...

the other one... i'll be expecting later this evening.

welcome back!^________________^