For Once

For once, I want to be the girl
who's being pursued,
not the one who's pursuing.
To be truly loved
not because I'm the only option
but because I truly matter.

The start of the year was sad for me. H went back to OZ a day before my Lolo passed away. I've been with my family most of the time during those days, sharing our loss and renewing our bond with each other. However, I wasn't able to manage my time well. One very important person felt neglected during those times.

Am I sorry? Yes, for not being a supergirl who can be there in times of need.


I feel trapped in a haze of uncertainty. Unsure of what the future would bring. Afraid of what the present has to offer. There'll be change. That I'm sure of.

I am tired of always adjusting. I am tired of not asserting myself. I am tired of always being the one to say sorry. I am tired of not speaking out my thoughts.

But I love him so much.......that, I'm not tired of.

Space mode

Aaargh. I'm now experiencing the "space" Mode again... and as usual.. the recipient role again. I'm just not used to this. I hope H will feel much better soon. Aaargh. hard hard hard.